Beyond The Lines

Random thoughts for today:

Sticks and stones.

The addictive mist of misery.

Deep blue sea.

Needle prick, paper cut, skin abrasion.

Two-faced King of Hearts.

The great pretender.

Monalisa's mysterious smile.

Day 10 onwards.

Paranoia, ideas of reference.
Low serotonin level.

The unheard sorrow.
The unnoticed beggar.

Win some, lose many.

The Paranoid Self

There's no point in convincing myself that I don't care because in reality, I do care so much.

I can lie to many people but, sadly, I cannot lie to myself. Myself knows me so much; more than my family and close friends, if there are any, I should say. No matter how much I try to hide and suppress what I truly feel, myself can still detect that I'm just faking it. As a result, I, for one, look down at myself, too. And oftentimes, I experience self-pity. Many people thought that I was lucky and blessed graduating high school with honors; I actually thought so, too, but only at first. I was living the moment then -- flattering myself by other people's compliments and praises, overwhelming myself by the privileges that some college schools offered me, and having that strong self-confidence that I never ever had before. However, along with that was the intense pressure I felt brought about by the thought that many people are expecting so much from me. Whenever I hear previous graduates from my alma mater graduating college with honors, I cannot help but envy them because I know very well that my chances for that are minimal already. Also, I'm afraid that they might compare me with them. This is also one of the reasons why I don't usually hangout with my high school friends and visit my alma mater whenever I'm at the province. It's way too embarrassing on my part. I feel so useless and think that I'm such a huge disappointment. I feel degraded actually. But then again, no matter how much I try to deny it, myself never fails to slap me on the face and say, "Who are you trying to fool?"

Just Another Definition of Love

If I were randomly asked about what love is or what its essence is, I would answer this:

The real essence of love, for me, is getting what you give in return or even getting more than what you give in return. I strongly believe that love is deeply rooted in sincerity which means that love is authentic; love is something that should not be taken just for granted because love should be taken seriously as love is a serious matter. Also, just like every thing else in the world, love has to be earned. You have to prove to the person that you are worthy indeed for his/her love. Basically, love is a give-and-take relationship and that there should be a mutual feeling as well. And most importantly, I should say, love has to start from deep within yourself. You cannot love somebody if you do not know how to love yourself in the first place. Just like in teaching, a teacher cannot teach his students something that he has no idea about. You cannot just "spread" the love if you do not have it in you from the very beginning.

Blame Boredom

I know I'm supposed to be posting blog entries, but I'm just bored so please forgive me. :)

NAME: Rick Angelo Cruz Sy

AGE: 19

BIRTHDATE: February 24

PRESENT ADDRESS: Cagayan de Oro City

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage = Water

2. last phone call = Christine Hazel

3. last text message = Shykie Jean

4. last song you listened to = You're All I Need to Get By by AI 11 Top 3

5. last time you cried = The other day

6. dated someone twice = Nope

7. been cheated on =  I guess so

8. kissed someone & regretted it = Nope

9. lost someone special = Yes

10. been depressed =  Most of the time

11. been drunk and threw up = Yes, unfortunately

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Blue

13. Green

14. Pink

LAST YEAR (2011), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend = Of course

16. Fallen out of love = Yes, I think

17. Laughed until you cried = Yup

18. Met someone who changed you = Nope

19. Found out who your true friends were = Yes

20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yes

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = I think yes?

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = I don't know the exact number, but I'm glad to say that majority of my friends.

24. Do you have any pets = Before. They died already. :(

25. Do you want to change your name = No, thanks!

26. What did you do for your last birthday = Ate out with friends

27. What time did you wake up today =  11:30AM

28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Tweeting

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = March next year!

30. Last time you saw your Mother = May 14

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = Matters regarding my family

32. What are you listening to right now = Stuttering by Jessica Sanchez

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? =  Not yet

34. What's getting on your nerves right now = Read my previous entry

38. Relationship Status = Single

39. Zodiac sign =  Pisces

40. He or She = He

41. Elementary = Timber City Academy

42. High School = Timber City Academy

44. Hair color = Black

45. Long or short =  What are you referring about?

46. Height = I actually do not know and I'm not even interested to find out :p

47. Do you have a crush on someone? = Of course

48. What do you like about yourself? = Many to mention :p

49. Piercings = One only

50. Tattoos = None

51. Righty or lefty=  Righty

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery = Stitching near left eye

53. First piercing = Left ear

54. First best friend = None

55. First sport you joined = Volleyball

56. First vacation = Cagayan de Oro

58. First pair of trainers = None because I'm not that athletic eversince

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating = No

60. Drinking = No

61. I'm about to = Answer the next item

62. Listening to = Stuttering by Jessica Sanchez

63. Waiting for = Dreams, wishes and plans to come true

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? = Sure

65. Get Married? = Sure

66. Career? = Nurse/Doctor/VJ or Host

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes = Eyes

68. Hugs or kisses=  Hugs

69. Shorter or taller = Taller

70. Older or Younger = Older

71. Romantic or spontaneous = Spontaneous

72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Nice arms

73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship

75. Trouble maker or hesitant = None

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger = Nope

77. Drank hard liquor = Yes?

78. Lost glasses/contacts = Almost

79. Sex on first date = Nope

80. Broke someone's heart = I don't know

81. Had your own heart broken = Yes

82. Been arrested = Never

83. Turned someone down = I think so

84. Cried when someone died = Yes

85. Fallen for a friend = Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself = Seldom only

87. Miracles = Seldom also

88. Love at first sight = No

89. Heaven = Maybe

90. Santa Claus = Not anymore

91. Kiss on the first date = No

92. Angels = Maybe

Sister Act 2: Nothing Beats The Classic

Goosebumps from beginning to end! I seriously had teary eyes after watching these vids, it brought back wonderful childhood memories. Nostalgia lang. Yun pala siguro ang feeling when you're moved by a song filled with so much sincere emotions. Cheers! :)

A+ for The Avengers

  So, after 48 years, I have finally seen The Avengers. It's also the first movie I watched in 3D, and hindi na rin masama. I actually didn't appreciate the 3D effect much at first, good thing binawi sa middle towards the end of the movie. There was this scene wherein Hulk was attacking and destroying a jet plane (Hahaha. Is that how you call it?), as he was dismantling it, he threw a piece of it towards the screen and nagulat talaga ako kasi I thought it was going to hit me. Silly right? My involuntary reflex's responsible for that na. Pati yung smoke and virtual computer screens were almost within my reach.

  What is great about this movie is that you get more than what you pay for. Given na ang fact that it's mostly an action film, but who would have expected that there would be some comedy scenes in it din? I'm not actually in to this kind of film. In fact, wala kahit isang movie akong nakita sa mga casts ng The Avengers, yet, here I am, fan na ng movie. So, how much more nalang kaya for those who have seen the movies of some of the casts prior to watching The Avengers, hindi ba?

  Speaking of the casts, they did an excellent job portraying their characters. They were undeniably fit for their roles. Super benta and believable. Although there were standouts for me such as Iron man, Captain America, and Thor, you'd still get to love and appreciate all of them. Here's what I think about each character:

  Iron Man. Seriously, I thought at first that he was the leader of the team, it's Captain America pala. Sino ba naman ang hindi mag-aakala? He's smart, wealthy, strategic, and powerful. And don't forget his great sense of humor, too. Yes, he's actually the funniest among the avengers. He's super cool and chill all throughout the movie. He's my fave actually. Here's the proof:

  Captain America. A muscular man in a blue suit carrying along a disc-shaped, indestructible shield – yup, that's Cap America. Let's face it, his charm towards the audience is just irresistible. Unlike Iron man, he is focused. He dislikes to mess around -- a trait of a good leader indeed.

  Thor. The God of Thunder. Thor's funny, too. At first I thought he was a villain, but not pala. He combats using his hammer that can create thunder. Only he is able to use it. And it must be really heavy for even The Incredible Hulk can't lift it up from the ground. He's thoughtful and concerned towards his step-brother, Loki.

  Hawk Eye. I thought he was a villain also and the right hand of Loki, but it turned out that Loki only manipulated him. With his bow and arrow, he displays his immense prowess in archery. He's the most accurate in targeting the enemies. Indeed, his eyes are as keen as a hawk's (captain obvious :p).

  Black Widow. This girl has serious skills in flying jet planes and even bigger jet planes (Again, sorry. Hahaha.). I think before she became part of the avengers, she used to be a member of the Charlie's angels. Don't you think so, too? Hahaha. Black widow handles guns well din. She's fierce, brave, and aggressive. Rawr.

  Hulk. Mga later part of the movie na nagpakitang gilas si Hulk. He's a monster: he can take on anybody – even the Gods such as Thor and Loki – and anything – Thor's mighty hammer and the enemies' numerous bullets. Hulk feeds on his own anger and it makes him even stronger. I think even the best anger management therapy known to humanity won't work on him. :p

  Loki. He's the villain in the movie and the step-brother of Thor. He had his own share of funny lines and scenes din that's why I didn't despise him that much. However, he still gave the avengers a hard time putting things back to how they were.

  I highly recommend this movie talaga, guys. A must watch! It's definitely worth your money and time. Kaya for those who haven't seen the movie yet, watch na kayo and be amazed by The Avengers. :)

Lights, Camera, Action!

  Choosing a dashboard name was really a challenge for me. It was difficult to come up with a name that would catch people's attention. And after a serious deliberation with myself, I decided to name my dashboard as Mr. Di-RICK-tor (As in DIRECTOR. Havey naman hindi ba? Hahaha.). Sumagi rin sa isip ko ang “RicKology”, derived from a book na kinagiliwan namin 2 months ago – Kokology. The book is about knowing yourself even more and finding out who you really are. Nakakaaliw siya talaga, try niyo. Anyway, I thought of naming my dashboard as RicKology kasi nga gusto ko na the contents of my blog entries soon will only contain the truth. I created this blog account in order to express freely what I really feel and para na rin may magawa this summer. So, mag-expect na kayo ng mga intense emotions most of the time. Hahaha. Nevertheless, hindi rin naman napaglalayo ang Mr. Di-RICK-tor from RicKology eh, halos same lang ng reason why which is ang pagiging true to oneself.

  Why did I choose Mr. Di-RICK-tor as my dashboard's name nga ba? Everything has a reason, ikanga. Well, first of all, I consider myself as my own director. For those who are wondering right now if I believe in God, opo, I believe in God. It's just that it's not necessary to be completely dependent on Him, right? “Nasa atin ang gawa.” It is wrong to just sit down, anticipate for signs, and wait for His blessings to pour down upon us “miraculously”. And besides guys, we're not puppets (Ok, this didn't sound good din, but whatever.).

***

  We are capable of doing things we want to do, pursuing ambitions we truly desire, making our dreams come true, and most importantly, standing on our feet independently.

  Lights. Let's say that the lights symbolize our outlook in life. Maraming lights sa isang studio. I'm certain that not all lights omit equal brightness: may sobra, may katamtaman, at may malapit nang mapundi. If we decide to look at the brightest light, nakakasilaw at first. If our eyes have been exposed to it for too long, it could damage our eyes and possibly cause blindness. Hence, I present you those arrogant and overconfident people who think they're on top of everybody. On the contrary, if we decide to look at the least bright light, our vision could get blurry. Hence, I present you those pessimistic, depressed, and people with suicidal tendencies na rin. Obviously, we should look at the light that gives the enough amount of brightness. Sapat lang, hindi OA. Hence, I present you those optimistic, determined, and hard working people in search for a brighter light.

  Camera. A camera follows and records our every move, that's why we should be careful with our actions. However, I'm not trying to mean that we should limit our actions and stick to the norms strictly, that's kaplastikan already. A great movie is measured by its impact to the viewers, yung tipong nakaka-relate sila. So, we should keep our feet on the ground at all times. And even if there are millions of people watching us, we should keep in mind always that expressing what we really feel is definitely much, much, much better than impressing them.

  Action. Ito na ang cue to do our thing. Of course, dapat akma sa situation. If you've memorized and rehearsed what's on the script well, then great: no more long shoots and retakes. This means that since you've planned your strategies on how to face life well, you get a step (or even steps) closer to your goal, and I sincerely congratulate you for that! It's not as easy as it seems kaya! However, it's fine to commit mistakes at times. Don't worry, marami pa naman extra films eh! Pero wag aabuso, mauubos din yan eventually at may bonus pa na regrets (Binawi ang pagiging optimistic? Hahaha.). What matters most is the lesson that it taught you. It's more of a blessing in disguise actually kasi you get to discover your weaknesses. And once alam mo na yung weakness mo, you can make some enhancements on that weakness and magiging veteran ka rin soon. :)

   Oh sya, enough of this already. Mag-cu-cue na raw tayo, guys. Ready na? ”Lights, camera, action!”