Sometimes, I hate myself more than they [the people who hate me] do. I cannot get hold of my emotions well. There are just certain times wherein I just have to let it all out - regardless of whatever the outcome will be. I just have to or else those emotions will continue haunting me. Those emotions bother me: I feel uneasy and anxious; I even reach the point of staring into nothingness. Nevertheless, I try my best to hide what I truly feel. I don't want to involve other people, especially my friends. I don't want them to worry about me. I don't want to interfere with their seemingly happy lives. Most of all, I don't want to ruin any form of relationships. After all, I'm used to this kind of feeling already. But I'm just quite unsure though if I could handle this well. I hope to overcome this soon.
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