The Not-so-Sweet Dreams

Before anything else, I would like to clarify this: Is a bangungot called a nightmare in English? I'm uncertain, that's why. And I think that a bangungot is worse than a nightmare (if ever they are not similar) because a  nightmare for me is just plainly having bad dreams while a bangungot has this fighting-for-your-life feeling. I really do not know. Sorry.

Anyway, I usually do not experience having bangungots (Oh di ba, talagang kinonsider ko na different ang bangungot sa nightmare.). In fact, I had my very first bangungot, I believe so, last June this year. Of course, it was my first time so I got very paranoid and frightened then. And a day prior to that, my dutymates and I were sharing stories about bangungots. I got scared actually, so I think it was one of the precipitating factors why I'm having bangungots right now. Thank you, guys. Haha.

Weird but I only experience having a bangungot once a month, I just do not know yet for this month. Also, it usually happens when the month is about to end. But surprisingly, it happened earlier than expected this month (as in I just had one right now). So far, I would have to say that my second experience was the worst. It took me several attempts of waking up before I finally did. As in several. There were instances when I thought that I was awake already, but I was wrong. It was also during that time when I remembered that trying to move your big toe could help overcome a bangungot.

I'm not sure though if this applies  to other people who also experience bangungots, but I actually feel an aura before having it. I just do not know how to explain it precisely though. But seriously, having a bangungot gives me some of the worst feelings ever. During the bangungot, I feel paralyzed and helpless. I have this strong urge to open my eyes and move my body parts and scream for help but I simply cannot do so. It's like my soul's separating from my body already. Creepy, I know.

I think what bothers me most about having episodes of bangungots is the thought of failing to wake up. I'm worried that maybe one day my body will eventually get tired of trying to wake up. But I do believe that it will only happen if I do not have the reason to wake up anymore (char, segue).

Sleep well, guys.